


A Woman's Guide to Survival on Krynn: A Dragonlance Rewrite

by Elvesliketrees



Category: Dragonlance - Margaret Weis & Tracy Hickman
Genre: AU, Action, Adventure, Crack, Did I Mention Crack?, Except Riverwind, Fem!Everyone, Gratuitous Swearing, Humor, Nudity, Poor Riverwind, Sexual References, What did I just write?!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-20
Updated: 2015-02-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 23:13:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3399806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvesliketrees/pseuds/Elvesliketrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raistlin miscasts a spell that has some rather...interesting effects. A funny alternate universe for the Dragonlance Series!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, welcome to my little experiment! I'm not sure exactly how far this is going or where it's going, but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it! I would first off like to thank two of my friends. The first friend because they always make fun of all my genderbent characters, so as I joke I thought, why not genderbend them all?! Thanks to my second friend for reviewing the story and basically giving me the first chapter! Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment below!

On the main road into Solace, six good companions met. Flint Fireforge, a dwarf near his two hundred-fiftieth year, beamed as Tanis Half-elven approached him. The elf threw himself into Flint’s arms and there they stayed for a few minutes. “How are you Flint?” Tanis asked.

“Very well, and ready to go to the inn, once our friends get here,” Flint said enthusiastically. As if on cue, a kender trail song drifted up from down the road. Soon, Tasslehoff Burrfoot was swinging his feet against a rock while regaling Flint with his adventures. When Sturm, Raistlin, and Caramon joined them, it was getting dark. Flint grumbled while he collected firewood. Sturm stopped his conversation with Tanis to look at the dwarf.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting firewood, it’s no use trying to get there in the dark!” Flint grumbled. Caramon grunted and started to reef through his pack for supplies. Tas plunked himself down on the side of the road, looking disappointed.

“I was looking forward to Otik’s potatoes,” the kender sighed.

“We all were,” Caramon rumbled. Raistlin smirked at his brother, his eyes glistening in the light of the moon. Flint dropped the firewood, only realizing that they had nothing to start it with.

“My tinder fell into a river yesterday,” Tanis sighed. The others reefed around in their packs until Raistlin, muttering strange words, put his hands over the wood.

“What are you doing?” the kender asked. The mage, startled out of his spell, missed the last word. A purple smoke issued out of his hands and enveloped all of the companions. Five minutes later, the smoke finally dissipated, leaving the companions coughing and trembling around the fire.

“What was that?” Sturm wheezed.

“Was that dangerous?” Tanis asked.

“I do not know, I was going to light the fire, but with a miscast spell, it could be anything. I will consult my spellbooks on the morrow, but for now we should get some sleep, it would not be wise to eat anything,” Raistlin sighed.

“Damn the kender!” Flint cried. They all settled down to sleep with Sturm on guard. However, when the moon reached it’s peak, the knight felt himself slipping into sleep. He tried walking around, but it was no use. When dawn came, it found eight sleeping companions.

Sturm groaned and blinked his eyes. He’d fallen asleep!! He instantly sat up and looked wildly around the campsite. Seeing no danger and not finding anyone missing, he got up to perform his morning ablutions. He felt a little strange, his chest hurt. He looked down at his armor, it didn’t seem like it had shifted during the night. He berated himself on wearing his heavy armor to sleep. He found a secluded patch on the side of the road and took off his belt. He gave a sigh and winced at how high his voice sounded. He would definitely need a drink of water when he was done here. He looked down in between his legs and gasped. Not everything was where it was supposed to be! What had the mage done to them?! He was breathing heavy now. He yanked up his trousers and fumbled with the buckles of his armor. He tossed it away and ripped off his shirt. Not daring to look down, he reached up to stroke his moustaches, and found nothing! A pond, there was a pond about a hundred yards away! He crashed into the brush and dove for the edge, and peered over. What he saw astounded him and rocked his world. A scream echoed through Solace as Sturm Brightblade beheld the breasts now present on his chest.

 


	2. Spell Discovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The companions figure out what Raistlin did and make some new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh! What did Raistlin do? Is it reversible (quite frankly even I'm not sure yet)? Just in case you didn't read the tags, warning for nudity, especially this chapter! Please feel free to comment on anything!

Tanis bolted upright as a scream echoed throughout the quiet wood. That was a woman’s scream! It was heard again as he shot up from the ground. It seemed to be coming from the pond that they’d found last night. He raced towards it and found a woman kneeling over the water. She had armor on, and he dark locks cascaded down a little past her shoulders. Her shirt was tossed to the side, exposing her bare back to the half-elf. The woman seemed to be panicking.

“Milady, what’s the matter?” Tanis asked slowly. Frightened brown eyes whipped towards him and Tanis immediately lowered his eyes.

“T-Tanis, look at me,” the woman voice whispered, “It’s me, Sturm.” Tanis’s head shot up almost involuntarily and he saw the trousers, which he’d gotten the knight for his name-day.

“Sturm?” Tanis gasped.

“Look at yourself,” Sturm said. Sturm stood up and picked his shirt up from off the ground. Sturm was smaller and a bit curvier, but he was still muscular. While not petite, he was not as big as he had once been. Tanis laid down on his stomach and gazed at his reflection in the pond. There, a petite, female half-elf stared back at him. His hair had grown to be down past his shoulder blades and was a red-brown. His beard was nowhere to be found, and his lips were somewhat fuller. Small breasts could barely be seen from his shirt. Tanis’ breath caught in his throat. His green eyes grew wide and he took in a few trembling breaths. He felt a hand rubbing his back and slowly took off his shirt. He looked at his new body and stifled a sob. “Come, we need to see if the others are having the same...problem,” Sturm sighed. Tanis got up, forgetting his shirt. They walked back to camp and Tanis stoked the fire.

“Everyone up!” he yelled. Caramon instantly drew his sword and looked around frantically. Caramon choked back a strangled gasp as he beheld his two shirtless companions.

“I know,” Tanis sighed, “I need everyone to check and see if you’re having the same problem as Sturm and myself.” Caramon’s body was now curvy and robust. His lips were full and his hair had grown longer,cascading down in curly waves. He sighed and adjusted his pants on his now wider hips. He took off his shirt and gave a chuckle.

“Well Raist, seems like we know the spell you cast,” he said with a deep, smooth voice.

“Indeed brother, or should I say sister?” the mage chuckled.

“This isn’t funny Raistlin!” Tanis cried in an alto voice. The mage had retained his skin color, eyes, hair color, and weak form. He was a little curvier, but still hunched over his staff. His hair was now thicker and fell to his shoulders. His robes showed two bumps that were his small chest.

“Indeed it isn’t,” Raistlin sighed, “But I fail to see how I can remedy the situation.”

“Fix this!” Sturm howled. The mage gave Sturm a glare.

“Raistlin, look at yourself, don’t you want to be back in your own body?” Tanis asked, desperately trying to reason with the mage. The mage slipped his robe down to the waist.

“I don’t see anything wrong with this,” Raistlin said. Flint gave a yell and ripped his shirt off.

“Nothing wrong with this? Nothing wrong with this?!” Flint yelled, “You’ll turn us back, and do it now, mage!” Flint had probably changed the least. His hair had grown a little longer, his beard was now only on his cheeks, and he had a few extra curves, but otherwise the dwarf looked much the same.

“Everyone calm down! It might be that Raistlin doesn’t know how to reverse the spell!” Tanis yelled, intervening after Caramon went for his sword.

“Is that true mage?” Sturm hissed.

“Its true, I am not sure which spell I cast, so I am not sure what to do for reversal, or if it can be reversed at all,” Raistlin sighed.

“Then why didn’t you say so Raist?” Caramon asked quietly. The kender came up and tugged on Tanis’ trouser leg. In all the confusion, Tanis had forgotten about Tas. Also topless, Tas had a heart-shaped face with a slightly longer topknot.

“What do we do?” he asked quietly. Tanis gave a sigh. What would they do? It was obvious that they would have to remain as they were, and some of their clothes were not suitable for women.

“We’ll continue into Solace. We’ll get some clothes and supplies, and debate on what to do there. It’ll be alright, we’ve just changed a little, we’re still us!” Tanis said.

“Tanis is right, there’s no reason to panic,” Sturm stated.

“And look, they’re so squishy!” Tas replied. Caramon choked down a laugh and Flint shook his head. “Feel Flint, they’re really squishy!” Tas cried.

“I’m not feeling your breasts, you insane kender!” the dwarf choked out.

“Feel his breasts Flint!” Raistlin encouraged.

“No one is feeling anyone’s breasts!” Tanis yelled, not believing that he was saying this.

“But they’re so…” Tas pleaded.

“I know Tas, but we need to get dressed and into Solace, what would happen if people saw six shirtless women in the middle of the road?” Tanis asked. Tas nodded and Sturm and Caramon started talking about what extra supplies they would need to pick up when they reached Solace. They heard a throat clear behind them. All of the companions turned round and gazed at the travelers with wide eyes. The man was tall as Caramon, though not as muscular, and the woman had silver-gold hair. The man was staring at them, especially Caramon’s rather large bust. The woman gave him a glare and the man got red, looking at the ground.

“Hello,” Tanis said, his voice cracking with his hysteria.

“Hello,” the man mumbled, eyes chivalrously still on the ground.

“What are you doing?” the woman asked, not looking as if she really wanted to know.

“We were...taking down our camp,” Tanis said lamely. Raistlin smacked his forehead into his palm and Flint guffawed, though it came out as a giggle. “Who are you?” Tanis asked.

“I am Goldmoon, and this is Riverwind, who are you?” she asked.

“I am Tanis, the mage is Raistlin, beside him is Caramon, Flint is our dwarf-companion, Tas is the kender, Sturm is our knight, and I am Tanis Half-elven,” Tanis said. Goldmoon bowed her head, looking very confused indeed. However, Tas was the one who made them both blush red as cherries.

“Hello Riverwind and Goldmoon, would you like to feel my breasts?” the kender asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Tas! Poor Riverwind and Goldmoon, the next chapter is going to depict a very long and somewhat uncomfortable talk amongst the companions. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Please feel free to comment below! I'm not sure where this is going, so if you want to see anything, please let me know!


End file.
